Some topics are difficult to talk about with children, and death is one of the most challenging. Adults may not realise this, but children are frequently exposed to death. Characters die on television, injured wildlife is found in parks, and pets grow old.
Babies and toddlers may not understand the permanence of death, while preschool children may ask endless questions. Jessica Grose wrote an article for the New York Times called Why do four-year-olds love talking about death?
Early childhood educators may need to respond to a child's interest or experience with death. Either because they are curious about the world or because they are grieving the loss of a loved-one.
This topic is relevant to learning outcomes under the Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF). When educators respond to children's interests and needs regarding death, they can help them feel safe, secure, and supported (1.1).
Another sad and difficult topic to talk about is conflict, violence and war.
Interactions
- Listen to children and let them lead the conversation.
- Don't try to avoid the subject because it is challenging.
- Be honest. If you don't have answers to a question, say: "I don’t know the answer to this question. I often wonder about it myself."
- Remember, families have varying beliefs about death.
- Remind children it is okay to have deep emotions and express them in appropriate ways.
Resources
Picture books
- Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes in Between by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
- Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie
- The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup
- A Toddler's Guide to Understanding Death by Bonnie Zucker and Kim Fleming