Conflict, violence and war

No early childhood educator wants to talk to children about violence and war. However, children may raise questions about something they have seen in the media or experienced themselves.

Minor conflicts are common in children's daily lives (e.g. two children want the same toy). These can be upsetting, but they are also teachable moments. Educators can help children navigate these challenges by providing solutions, mediation and reassurance.

UNCRC, NQS and EYLF

Children's safety and protection is embedded in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. The National Quality Standard asks that children are supported to regulate their own behaviour, respond appropriately to the behaviour of others, and communicate effectively to resolve conflicts (5.2.2).

Conflict connects to the Early Years Learning Framework. When children have disagreements with their friends, they can learn to:

interact in relation to others with care, empathy and respect (1.4)
respond to diversity with respect (2.2)
be aware of fairness (2.3)
and cooperate (4.1).

Educators can help children who have been exposed to violence so they can feel safe, secure and supported (1.1), and strong in their social and emotional wellbeing (3.1).

Learning experiences

Express strong emotions

Teach children positive strategies for expressing emotions in non-hurting ways:

Talking about their feelings.
Vigorous exercise.
Squeezing a stress ball.
Creating art.
Having a cuddle.
Spending time alone.

Tell stories

Read story books, tell stories using puppets, and roleplay scenarios about conflict. Dramatic play and storytelling help children understand their emotions, solve problems with conflict, and learn to have empathy for others.

Early childhood professionals can listen to children talk about their own experiences with conflict. There may not be any need to respond. Sometimes listening is enough.

Learn conflict resolution strategies

Teach children different ways to resolve conflict with others:

Communicate clearly. Tell people what you need and how you feel.
Listen to others when they are telling you what they need and how they feel.
Respect differences. It's okay for people to have different preferences and opinions.
Consider how others are feeling. Imagine how you would feel in their situation.
Ask for help from a friend or trusted adult.
Brainstorm new solutions to your problem. Try a new idea to resolve the conflict.

Plan before playing

Educators can help children plan what to do in challenging social situations before they arise. Sit with a child before they start playing and talk about:

what they would like to play with
who they would like to play with
what they would like to happen
any challenges or conflict that might arise, including potential solutions.

Interactions

Early childhood educators may not know how to respond to children interested in or involved with conflict, war or violence. The topic may be shocking and extremely stressful.

When conflict arises between children

Instead of intervening, consider allowing children to solve their own problems. Act as a mediator to support children in finding win-win solutions.
Discuss the conflict and help children investigate what happened and why. Did an accident happen? Was there a misunderstanding?
Talk to children about strategies to prevent similar disagreements in the future.

When children see violence or war

Help children feel safe and reassured.
Ask children what they know about this topic. Be a good listener.
Be understanding, truthful and trustworthy.
Don't be silent because a conversation is awkward. This prevents children from expressing their feelings and asking questions. If adults don't talk to children, they are left to find answers on their own. Children will stay fearful because they think the subject is too bad to talk about.
Be honest if you don't know what to say:
- "This is horrible. I'm not sure what to say right now."
- "It is important for you to talk about this. Would you like to talk with your mum?"